All Growns Up

It occurred to me two days ago that I may now officially be an adult. Other than having turned 28 a week ago which some people might consider to be a pretty sizable step into adulthood, the moment came to me a few days later. It was the day that I brought my last big box of junk to the Salvation Army donation center in the parking lot of a Fred Meyer. The contents of said box? Well, let's see. An old cordless phone that I knew I'd never use again, some baseballs (for whatever reason), and like 10 pairs of nunchuks (no joke). Yes, it would be every 13 year old's dream to stumble upon that box of crap because of how much cool shit was in there.

The thing about it is, it was hard for me to finally get rid of that stuff (mostly the nunchuks). Some might say that the contents had sentimental value or some such thing. But that's not it. The thing about it is I still really think nunchuks and cassette tapes of cartoon rapping cats (if you know who I'm talking about, I love you) are actually pretty awesome. Does that make me immature? Because if it does, then does the fact that I just finally gave all that stuff away make me a grown up?

Okay, what about if I immediately came home and watched Disney's Robin Hood? What does that mean? And what about the next morning when I watched part of the 3 Ninja's on HBO? Actually, I think the full title was "3 Ninjas: Wasting My Time." I didn't actually watch that one because I used to like it or anything. I was actually using it as motivation for my own writing. It's pretty common practice for me. It gives me hope when I see something super shitty, that it really must not be that hard to write things that don't suck. And really, to see a movie where Hulk Hogan dressed up like a faux He-Man was considered a major plot point only gives me that much more hope.

I don't really even know what I'm driving at here. I think I used to be worried that being 28 and not feeling mature was a big deal. Like I'd somehow think of myself as a bad person or like I didn't fit in or something like that. The truth is, I only want to embrace it more. I still enjoy laughing when people fart, or when I can share in the delight of a movie titled "The GingerDead Man" (thank you Carrie).

I don't want to go to dinner parties or business meetings, or make small talk and pretend that I'm all grown up. I want to be able to laugh when people run into stationary objects or when it stinks in an elevator and everyone pretends they don't smell it.

Ultimately, I guess I want to maintain my immaturity and childlike outlook on life. So I think I will.

In closing, I'd like to say 'poop' because I think it's a funny word.

Poop.

- The Bean