I Thought it Was Funny But it's Snot

For me personally, I think that one of the greatest accomplishments in the world is being able to make someone laugh. Regular laughter amongst friends is great. A good belly laugh also has its place, as does the kind where you laugh til your face hurts or your stomach hurts or some combination thereof.

However, by and large the absolute best compliment in laughter that you can possibly achieve is causing someone to snot. For all intents and purposes in this blog, I have turned the word snot into a verb as I think thats how it best serves its purpose here.

To make someone snot, for me, is the absolute best thing you can do comedically for a number of reasons. The first and simplest reason is that it means they're laughing, which is great. The second reason (and the reason why I find it to be such a complement) is that it means you have caught this person so totally and completely off guard with humor that they don't even have time to open their mouth to complete a full laugh. They react so incredibly quickly to whatever it is that you said that the only place for their laugh to exit is through their nose.

If their sinuses are clear, well then I submit that it's not as satisfying because it ends up sounding more like a scoff. However, if they've got even a little bit of built up nastiness, then it's all worthwhile. And as soon as the snotting occurs, theres that instant moment of social awkwardness that both parties must deal with immediately (the only real minor downfall in my opinion). When this happens, there are a few different paths you can take to overcome this minor obstacle. The person doing the snotting (the snotter if you will) will have an automatic reaction of covering up their nose with either hand as their initial look of joy will quickly be replaced with one of 'Oh fuck.' I clearly just blew my nose in mid air in very plain sight and now I have to try and play it off. To put that phrase in simpler words, I might choose panic with a side of horror. Now that they have leapt from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other within a matter of milliseconds, it is up to you as the slightly amused, somewhat disgusted onlooker (and really, the cause of this whole thing) to do one of two things. You can either a) quickly look away as if to pretend that nothing happened while simultaneously attempting to continue the conversation without gagging, or b) fully embrace the events that have just transpired. In my experience, the best way to accomplish this is to raise one fist triumphantly in the air while shouting YES! and then pointing at the person while declaring 'THAT is awesome!' I'm a pretty firm believer in the latter for two important reasons. It helps to make the moment that much funnier for both parties, and gives the other person an opportunity to laugh at themselves instead of simply feeling embarrassed.

A side bonus of the whole snotting effect is that the person, from the time that it happens to the time that you're both finished with the conversation, will continue to brush the back of their hand across their nose like a coke fiend to check for any possible dangling stragglers. This, to me, is a somewhat endearing act as you've now accidentally made the person feel extremely self conscious. Also, if you do not address the situation as soon as it happens, you'll find that there is no possible way you can actually look this person in the eye for the duration of your interaction. Mostly because you will now have this mental image of them blowing their nose onto themselves, but also because you know that looking at them even for a split second will make them even more self conscious. That is yet another reason to fully embrace the phlegmy expulsion.

As another added bonus, if this person has a cold, you have just helped them clear their sinuses, proving the old adage that laughter truly is the best medicine. Of course, the people who believe that have clearly never tried codeine. That stuff is the shit.